I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
