Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just invented taco cereal.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
there is glitter all over my balls
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
