they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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