Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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