i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
My penis needs a shock collar
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
