No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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