Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
