Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Someone signed my nipple.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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