I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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