lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
