He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Nicole vs. Life
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
