then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
