I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
