Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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