yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
