you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
