Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
