that's an acceptable place to lick
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Acid is not a monday night drug
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
