I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
