I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he was CRYING into my vagina
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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