okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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