Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
