i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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