does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
