While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
