I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
