I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
