Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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