I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
