So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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