i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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