They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
