Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
