I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
