So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
