his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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