So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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