I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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