Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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