from now on my penis is your penis
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
