Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
