He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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