at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize