For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
