; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
