He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
