Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
