it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize