Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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