Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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