what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize