And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
