if you like me you must not know who I am
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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