"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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