I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
