dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize