actually, I'm a sock model
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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