We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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