There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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