yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
