allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
