I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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