Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
