I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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