I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she looked like the before picture.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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