i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
