I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We are all done wearing pants today
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
