Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
