he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
