great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
