Having a random hookup so left but love u
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
