She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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