I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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